So, I picked up a bacon and egg sandwich from BuzzBrews this morning and took it to the office for a late breakfast. After eating the first half of my sandwich I reached for the second half and found a big, dead fly lodged in the bacon. Fighting back the urge to throw-up, I closed the box and waited for my meeting to end.
I'll just take it back and they'll give me my money back. It's unfortunate, but these things happen. These were the thoughts I had while I drove back up to BuzzBrews. I handed the boxed sandwich to the manager and explained to him about the fly. He opened the boxed, stared inside and said, "hhmmm". "hhmm" he goes again. Then he says, "when did you notice the fly?" "Really?", I thought. What difference does that make? But, I managed to tell him I noticed it, obviously, as I was about to eat the second half of the sandwich. He proceeded to tell me that he personally closed the box and there was no fly in there when he closed the box. Then he says, "it probably got in there when you got into your car or something." "Do you want us to make you another one?" When I said no he actually asked me again. The second time I just shook my head and thought, "no way am I eating food from a joint that gave me a dead fly in my sandwich and then blamed me for it." Then he says, "well, I don't know, I mean there was no fly when I closed the box."
Before I go any further, I must say, I ran 8 miles this morning and was pretty hungry. Since I didn't finish my meal I was still hungry, although admittedly turned off, when I returned to BuzzBrews to deal with this situation. I was also between meetings and needed to get back right away. Maybe my haste, the fatigue and the hunger contributed to what I'd say next, "Seriously, seriously? Are you trying to tell me that somehow, after you closed the box and the server put it in a paper bag and stapled the paper bag, that a fly got in there? Maybe you mean that a fly came into my office on the 5th floor, landed on my bacon and died. You want me to believe that you think it's more likely that a fly would come into my building, take the elevator to the fifth floor, fly into my office and then die on my bacon over the probability that a fly came into your kitchen where there's only one door from the outside. Basically, you're saying this is not your fault and could only be my fault. I would rather you call me an idiot outright than to take this long about way of saying the same thing. If I've gotten you all wrong and you're not calling me an idiot, then the next thing you need to say is, 'I'm sorry Sir, this should have never happened, I will get your money back right away.'"
He studied me for a minute and then mumble something along the lines of, "sorry sir, our fault and I'll get your money".
Lesson here, don't come between a hungry runner and his meal. Never, never stop running.
